Harder than I expected.

One thing about grief: it hits you when you least expect it to. Many days you wake up, feel pretty good or at least semi-ok, you start going about your business, and then WHAM, BAM comes grief and basically knocks you off your feet or punches you in the gut or slaps you upside the face. Then all of a sudden your almost good day turns into a pretty crappy one and you are reminded that this journey once again ebbs and flows. You remember that it is an ongoing, lifelong process and even if you don't want a visit from grief, it comes knocking at your door. It reminds me of that Dixie Chicks song, Hello Mr. Heartache.

So, why the forlorn introduction? Well this past weekend was kind of like that for me. And it hit me when I was least expecting it. I let my guard down and my heart was attacked. For me, Easter has been one of those holidays that hasn't always been a huge celebration. Some years, we celebrate with family members and some years we don't. Sometimes we have egg hunts and baskets, some years not so much. I guess this is why I didn't really prepare myself for a huge reaction. I went to my parents' house for the weekend. On Friday night, my mom and I watched a movie together. In the movie, there is a part when the main character dies and her husband is in the hospital waiting for some kind of news. A doctor comes up to him and does this little head shake/nod thing that says "we did everything we could and it's over. there's nothing more we can do." The scene then cuts to a cemetery. At this point, I "lost it" as they say. It was at this point that I realized he would now be old enough where he could pick up some of his own eggs and he could have had enjoyment out of some of the Eastery celebrations. This is where I consider it to be the more "fun" age. Losing anyone is tough but losing someone so young sometimes seems like it could be more difficult. I feel like I will always be grieving for the loss of him but also for the loss of everything he never got to do or explore or experience. I miss you my little Camburger....

So to end on a positive note. The title of my blog is called Cameron's Creations. I have been trying to use my scrapbooking, and creativity as a therapeutic outlet. I will be selling (hopefully) my creations in a couple of different Farmer's Markets this summer. It is also my intention to take personalized orders. If I ever post something you enjoy and would like to place an order, please let me know by comment or through email at aprilbarnett15@gmail.com. If you see things made by others but you think I could create, let me know and I might be able to make you a version. If you have a vision of something you don't know how to make, let's have a chat and I will do my best to make something for you or your loved ones. I try to keep my prices affordable because mostly I'm not doing this for money, it's more for therapy.

Here are some of things I have done thus far:

 Decorative frame for my wonderful friend Amy and family.

 Magnet board with handcrafted magnets.

 Baby shower invitations.

 Baby shower cupcake invitations.

 Wall hanging.

 Canvas "frame".

 Close up detail on frame.

 First special order. Made for my friend Brittney's kids to give to their papa.

 Birthday card.

 Thank you card.

 Baby's first year book.

 Inside pages.

Full book.