L is for Listening
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
“To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation”
“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.”
“Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.”
Listening is a very complex notion. We hear lots and lots of things but how often do we actually LISTEN to what others are saying? It can be difficult to really and truly listen to others when we have so much going on in our own lives.
This is especially difficult for me as a therapist. This might sound horrible, but sometimes, I don't want to listen to what my clients and their families have to say. Sometimes I want to say, You think those are problems?!!!??? But then I step back and put myself in place. Because in reality who am I to judge what they think are problems or not. Everyone's subjective experience is different than the next. Plus if I didn't check myself, I would be a pretty horrible therapist. It's good to use my experiences as a building block in my therapeutic approach as long as I don't let it cloud my work. So I will just keep checking myself...
So next time you are listening to someone, make sure you are really listening. Listen to the words they are saying, but also listen to the words they aren't saying. Ask yourself what can I take from this? How can I be a good listener and is there something I can learn?
No comments:
Post a Comment