ABC's--R

R is for relationships!

Something I've learned as I've matured and grown older: relationships change. 

I used to mourn the loss of a relationship and I'm not talking like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing I'm just talking a regular friend relationship.

In case you didn't know, I'm a social person. (I know, duh, right?) Anyway, I often find myself talking to people when the situation presents itself. Through this, I tend to make lots of friends or acquaintances. 

When I moved to Indianapolis to go to college, I made promises to all of my friends (as I'm sure you did as well) that we were going to stay friends forever and we were going to keep in touch and BFF and whatever else we told ourselves and each other. For a good amount of time while I was in college, I kept in contact with my closest friends, but inevitably, some friendships didn't stay in tact. And I remember being so sad. I tried and they tried, but we just couldn't stay in touch for life's reasons.

Then in college, I made lots of friends and acquaintances as well. After college, I moved on to graduate school and I lost some of the friends from college I swore I would stay in touch with. And I remember being so sad that I couldn't keep in touch with all of them the way I wanted. 

At some point along the way, I've learned that it was no one's fault. It wasn't my fault or their fault or anyone's fault. Life happens at that's okay. Thanks to Facebook, I have re-connected or at least been able to keep up on the happenings of with many people I knew from way back when. 

Another thing I learned is this: just because we don't talk to someone regularly or just because we don't "hang out" with someone like we used to or like we would want to doesn't make them any less of a friend. Friends will be there when you need them and friends will support you when you need them to. 

Relationships are affected by different life events and that's okay too. Sometimes it takes a big life event to show you who you can count on and who isn't so helpful. My advice to you is this: if you want to make a relationship work, you have to put in an equal amount and if you are putting more into a relationship than the other person, then ask yourself why and if it's worth it. I once heard that the person who controls the relationship is the person who contributes the least. I try to make this something to live by. And if it's not working for you, then why are you holding on? Life's too short to dawdle.

Relationships...something to think about. Sorry about the back and forth thoughts.