ABC's--X

X is for X-ray.

Cop-out? Maybe, but I'd like you to come up with an X word that fits into my semi-theme.

If there were a special X-ray on my brain, what thoughts would it pick up?

1. Currently I'm extremely frazzled about moving. This is only because we have tons to do before we go and it's hard to prioritize. I think anyone who is in the process of moving feels this way.
2. The love your children is something so indescribable, it's amazes me more every day. There are days when I can watch the boys do something and I literally fill like my heart is growing because whatever it is they are doing at the time makes me so proud.
3. Cameron. There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about him.
4. Grief and some stage of the process. Whoever said time makes it easier was a big fat liar.
5. Sometimes it's okay to be immature and say things like big fat liar.
6. I need to learn to put my needs first. Something everyone has been telling me to do pretty much my whole life but something I'm just now figuring out.
7. Even though I'm creative and I love making things, sometimes I get over-inspired and frazzled because I have too many ideas in my head at one time. During these moments, I often have to walk away.
8. Life is a puzzle and it's exhausting trying to solve it.

ABC's--W-redo

Apparently I have some critics uh I mean readers out there who were not so happy with my W post. They actually told me that my previous W post was a cop out and didn't actually count. So, since I like to try to make others happy, I am re-doing W.

W is for whispers, wishes and wondering and waiting.

Often, I find myself wishing to hear a whisper in the wind letting me know that my little one is out there with me. That he still exists in some form and that he's watching me. I tend to wonder what he would be like now. I wish that things could be different. I wonder what I ever did to deserve this. I whisper to him in the dark hoping he hears all the wonderful things I have to say to him. I wait to find my purpose. I wonder about going on and wish for the strength to keep positive and continue on daily. I wait for my inspiration and wish for others to learn from my experiences. I whisper my "I love yous" to my family so I have no regrets. I wonder what our future will hold and hold out hope that our wishes can come true. I wait for sanity because some days it's all I can wish for.

ABC's--W

W is for Wee as in wee little ones. A lot of the stuff I make is baby oriented. Probably because I have lots of babies and mommas in my life to test out the products on. One of my most recent wee little one projects was a personalized nursery item for my boss' baby Callan. The papers and accessories are to coordinate with the Forest Friends Nursery theme.

ABC's--V

V is for Victory.

I started creating things (you have seen my pictures on Facebook or in this blog in a previous post) to keep my mind off my grief. I have sold some of my stuff to co-workers, friends, etc. I took my items to the farmer's market at Skip's. People tell me my stuff is cute, but I've gone back and forth on whether or not I want to sell my stuff with a website or at the market more often, etc.

On 4th of July weekend, I gave a headband to my niece. I gave her a job to wear it when she could and tell people I made it for her. Apparently, today while she was out with her mom, a woman stopped her and asked where she got the headband. She told the lade that her aunt made it for her.

The lady owns a boutique in their town and said if I got in touch and was interested, she would like to sell my stuff in her boutique! So I call this my victory.

ABC's--U

U is for Undecided.

So many decisions to make. So much indecision which leaves me undecided.

ABC's--T

T is for Time.

Whoever said that all it takes is time was full of a bunch of BS.

Time is the enemy. Time is a constantly ticking reminder that this "new" life without a huge part of you is REAL and not just some nightmare you thought you were experiencing.

Time is a reminder of all those things you are missing out on.

Time is sometimes stretched out in front of you and becomes such a struggle to survive the next seconds, minutes and hours because you are too sad to move on.

Time does NOT make it easier, Time does NOT make it better.

Time can; however, show you that you can survive even if you take each second as they come. But please don't tell me that time will make it better or time will heal things because I might explain to you the contrary.

ABC's--S

S is for SILLY!!!

When all else fails, just be silly...

And sometimes it takes a few great kids to show you the way!